What can I do? Hmmm... well, any claims made here are just that - claims, or gratuitous assertions. The only way to tell on any of us is to check our portfolios and see what we have actually produced. Got a memoir? Lived one hell of a life and want to record it for your descendants? The gift of a lifetime. You'll need someone capable of painting with words, a vivid mental picture; someone capable of some seriously nuanced and evocative prose...
Read More »
SEO this, Excell that, Skype shmype! Facebook? Oh, now I'm really pissed! Doesn't anyone...
Sep 11, 2010|E-books and Blogs|$225|Completed
Apr 27, 2010|Editing & Proofreading|$4,164|Completed
Mar 1, 2010|Web Content|$250|Completed
Jan 31, 2010|Editing & Proofreading|$450|Working
I'm a bit unhinged. Fortunately, with this challenge come a considerable degree of creativity and intelligence. That's the upside, but how does a guy with excellent communication skills get a job doing what he does best? I'm still trying to figure that one out short of going the whole novel manuscript route, which will happen just as soon as I decide on a compelling subject with broad public appeal... For now I'm fiddling around on venues such as this one. Look, you're busy, so I'll let you go. Before I do, though, I can't resist closing with a more traditional pitch, so here goes:
HI, OUR NAME IS MAYNARD AND THE MONOSYLLABLES, YOUR PREMIER WRITING SERVICE. NOT ONLY ARE WE PREMIER, WE ARE AWARD WINNING, CELEBRATED, CREATIVE, PASSIONATE, PRODUCTIVE ARTICULATE, TIMELY, PROMPT, AND MOST OF ALL - HUMBLE. OUR TEAM OF FRUSTRATED AUTHORS AND OUT-OF-WORK JOURNALISTS WILL DO A FABULOUS JOB FOR NEXT TO NOTHING, AND DO IT YESTERDAY! WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY INSECURE AND LIVE TO PLEASE. ALSO, THEY ARE ABLE TO SEQUESTER THEMSELVES IN THEIR DEN AND ESCAPE THE KID'S INCESSANT BICKERING IN THE PROCESS. GOD BLESS THE INTERNET. CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY AND WE WILL BLOW YOU AWAY WITH THE SHEER GENIUS OF OUR PRODUCT.
Was that fun or what? I'm sold. How 'bout you?
I feel better now. Thanks for your time and let me know if I can return the favor.
Anyway, service description... we touched on that above, so bada boom, bada bing, on to payment.
Read More »