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Anthony S. | Elance
 
176985602337900
Last Sign-in: May 6, 2013

Anthony S.

Check out my portfolio and you be the judge.
   United States
Lewiston

Overview

Minimum Hourly Rate $15

What can I do? Hmmm... well, any claims made here are just that - claims, or gratuitous assertions. The only way to tell on any of us is to check our portfolios and see what we have actually produced. Got a memoir? Lived one hell of a life and want to record it for your descendants? The gift of a lifetime. You'll need someone capable of painting with words, a vivid mental picture; someone capable of some seriously nuanced and evocative prose...

SEO this, Excell that, Skype shmype! Facebook? Oh, now I'm really pissed! Doesn't anyone...

Read More »
Sep 11, 2010|E-books and Blogs|$225|Completed
|
5.0
Apr 27, 2010|Editing & Proofreading|$4,164|Completed
|
5.0
Mar 1, 2010|Web Content|$250|Completed
Jan 31, 2010|Editing & Proofreading|$450|Working
|
5.0

View All »

Portfolio

After reading this, my college English (research writing) instructor said, "I...
A wistful article for the local daily detailing my impression of the most pristine...
Piece on the woes of loosing weight faced by non-traditional students amid the throngs...
One installment of what could be an awesome ongoing gardening feature. Talk to me folks!
Grumpiness, one of the joys of middle age...
A recollection of an old woman who made an indelible impression on a young man.

Skills (5)

Tested
Creative Writing
Creative Writing Test - Fiction (U.S. Version)
My Score
avg
Passed
English
U.S. English Basic Skills Test
My Score
avg
System Analysis
Email
Internet Security

Service Description

I'm a bit unhinged. Fortunately, with this challenge come a considerable degree of creativity and intelligence. That's the upside, but how does a guy with excellent communication skills get a job doing what he does best? I'm still trying to figure that one out short of going the whole novel manuscript route, which will happen just as soon as I decide on a compelling subject with broad public appeal... For now I'm fiddling around on venues such as this one. Look, you're busy, so I'll let you go. Before I do, though, I can't resist closing with a more traditional pitch, so here goes:

HI, OUR NAME IS MAYNARD AND THE MONOSYLLABLES, YOUR PREMIER WRITING SERVICE. NOT ONLY ARE WE PREMIER, WE ARE AWARD WINNING, CELEBRATED, CREATIVE, PASSIONATE, PRODUCTIVE ARTICULATE, TIMELY, PROMPT, AND MOST OF ALL - HUMBLE. OUR TEAM OF FRUSTRATED AUTHORS AND OUT-OF-WORK JOURNALISTS WILL DO A FABULOUS JOB FOR NEXT TO NOTHING, AND DO IT YESTERDAY! WHY? BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY INSECURE AND LIVE TO PLEASE. ALSO, THEY ARE ABLE TO SEQUESTER THEMSELVES IN THEIR DEN AND ESCAPE THE KID'S INCESSANT BICKERING IN THE PROCESS. GOD BLESS THE INTERNET. CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY AND WE WILL BLOW YOU AWAY WITH THE SHEER GENIUS OF OUR PRODUCT.

Was that fun or what? I'm sold. How 'bout you?

I feel better now. Thanks for your time and let me know if I can return the favor.

-Anthony



Anyway, service description... we touched on that above, so bada boom, bada bing, on to payment.



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Keywords

memoirs
humor
irreverent
tongue in cheek
sly
nuanced
ghostwriting
life story
clever
evocative prose
My Snapshot
Writing & Translation
1
Elance Level
Level represents activity and experience on Elance. Freelancers start at Level 1 and achieve higher levels through their work. A higher "Level" indicates greater earnings, ratings and other achievements on Elance. Learn More »
  • 12 months
  • Lifetime
Jobs
0
0
0
Total
Milestones
Hours
Reviews
5.0
Recommend
Clients
Total
Repeat
Earnings
Total
Per Client
Identity
Username
anthonysimpson
Type
Individual
Member Since
December 2009
Elance URL
Verifications
0
Anthony S. | Elance

Anthony S.