I promise I am not a Werewolf. I won't suddenly turn feral and sprout coarse black hair and claws at the first glimpse of a full moon. My knees won't bend backward and I won't howl. (Silver bullets will most assuredly kill me, however.)
I am also not a Robot though I think I may have tinfoil stuck in my brain from when I stuck some up my nose in 1987. I think this qualifies me as a cyborg, at the very least.
I am not a competitive eater... yet.
I am a writer who understands how to produce precise, sharable and digestible content. I...